Stop Defiance in Your Classroom in 4 Simple Steps - Teach 4 the Heart

Stop Defiance in Your Classroom in 4 Simple Steps

Stop Defiance

Defying my orders, the student plumped down in the corner—conducting a sit-in. My first test had come. Shock engulfed me. Panic followed.

So I phoned a friend. An assistant principal took the line.

"You need to tell him he has two minutes to make a decision: get up and go back to his desk, or stay seated, and I will come down there to get him."

A minute in, the student realized the cost. He reoccupied his desk.

Handling defiance is one of the most challenging tasks we face as teachers. But with the right plan in place, we can control such acts with wisdom and diligence.

What to Do with a Defiant Student

Here are a few things I've learned about managing noncompliance in my classroom:

1. Remove a defiant student's audience.

I learned in Classroom Management 101 that the essential first step is to remove the audience.

If possible, send the student out into the hallway. The stakes rise when a student knows all eyes are on them.

Without the attention, the student is less likely to continue their defiance.

You can still do your best to remove the audience even when a student refuses to leave the classroom. If a student anchors himself in the corner, delay the situation for a short time.

Encourage the rest of your class to continue working. Once they are focused, calmly approach the defiant student. Don't yell. You'll bring back the audience.

Whisper in the student's ear, "You have one minute to do what I am asking you to do, or you can stay put, and I call for a principal to come get you."

Presenting the order as a choice works well for some students. Give them a time limit to make their decision. Time, as you know, is precious, so make it reasonable. If they refuse to obey, make the call. Don't delay.

2. Have a plan and execute it.

Chances are if you have a student who is willing to test you once, they'll try again—unless they know you're prepared and mean business.

Once you've removed the audience, make sure the student knows that you will not tolerate defiance in your classroom.

Then let them know your next move. I later talked one-on-one with the student who ignored my orders. I let him know his mom's cell phone would light up with my name on it after school.

I also told him and his parents that the next time he blatantly disregarded my orders, he would receive a discipline referral.

A few weeks later, he conducted another sit-in. He went home with a referral.

3. Contact parents and share your plan with them.

Communicating with parents is key when dealing with a defiant student. Take the time to notify parents of the situation.

Reflect and take notes of the student’s behavior before you call or email a guardian. You’ll be able to relay what happened with precision.

Most parents will want to join in and help deter future defiance from their child.

They'll appreciate your effort to reach out and keep them informed. Plus, parents may have seen similar behavior from their child at home. They may give you some insight into what may be causing some of their student's noncompliance in class.

And while nothing can excuse the child's behavior, any information you receive from a guardian may help you better assess and correct future defiance.

4. Communicate with students and let them know you care.

Turns out, the student ignoring my orders had a ton on his mind. Recent events clouded his thoughts. After talking to his parents, I realized he needed me in his corner.

His defiance was a call for help. Sure, some students disobey out of spite. But teachers must attempt to communicate with a noncompliant student no matter what.

Ignoring a student who is ignoring you is a missed opportunity.

Let your defiant student know you hear them. Give them your time. Remind them they have people at school who love and care for them. Ask if they would like to speak with someone beside you.

Maybe they’ll open up to a counselor or a principal. You can later check in with those people.

Always have the student’s best interest at heart, and show that you notice them.

Ignoring a student who is ignoring you is a missed opportunity. 

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At recess, I spent time playing catch with the student who was acting out. We talked about his basketball team, his favorite cartoons, his favorite music—anything and everything that brought a smile to his face.

His attitude brightened. He stood taller. Instead of turning his back on me when he didn’t get his way, he began doing what I asked.

He knew I cared. So he cared. And he started minding my instructions.

There are many ways to communicate with your defiant students. You can eat lunch with them, write them a hand-written letter, or talk to them at recess.

Pay attention to them. Instead of plumping down in a corner, a student who feels your love and care might dive right into your lesson.

regain control of your classroom

Classroom Management 101 was so helpful for me in learning how to deal with defiant students - and so many other classroom issues.

This online course will guide you step-by-step through the process of developing & implementing a strong classroom management plan.

And not only that - it will give you the skills you need to start the school year RIGHT so you can avoid so many potential problems and teach effectively all year.

Find out more about Classroom Management 101.

classroom management strategies

As a principal, I have always tried to have my teachers' "backs". To encourage them is so important. This course has encouraged me that I am on the right track. Thank you so much.

If you're Classroom Management 101, take it. You will not regret it 🙂

Georgia W. , Christian school principal over K3 through 5th grade

Linda has thought of most every situation that affects classroom management and addresses each thoroughly from a perspective of wisdom and honor.

Mandy W.

Taking this course really gave me the confidence to put changes in place that have benefited me and my students from Day One. And I can honestly say that confidence has carried over into my daily classroom management, and my students have responded. The respect level is definitely higher than in past year.

Lynnette S. , High School French Teacher

more useful than any pre-service training I've had in years!

I highly recommend your seminar to any teacher new or veteran. It's great practical real-life advice that teachers don't learn in college. There's no substitute for experience, and you've used your experience in the classroom to help and remind teachers of what's really important; student learning, building relationships, and saving your sanity. I'm going to share your seminar with my administrators. This was more useful than any pre-service training I've had in years!

Angela P. , 7th grade ELA teacher

I had a very challenging class this past year. I never felt fully in control and all students were affected. I became very discouraged and questioned if I was doing the right thing being a teacher.

Now [since taking Classroom Management 101], I feel like I have very definite plans and strategies to turn to.

Margaret C. , 2nd grade teacher

you will feel more confident

This course is a great tool for any teacher who needs help in one of the most difficult aspects of teaching - classroom management. You will learn a lot and feel more confident in putting strategies into action.

Felicia C. , 9th grade English teacher

I couldn't be more impressed with Ms. Kardamis' material! Her heart and passion to encourage and inspire teachers -- and ultimately, to encourage and inspire the hearts of students -- was evident in every instructional session that I watched. The course material was based on sound principles but was also extremely practical -- easily translatable into a classroom setting. Ms. Kardamis was also very professional, gracious, and attentive when it came to customer service-- it's evident that she cares for her customers as much as she cares for her students. This course is a winner!


Before I took Classroom Management 101, I felt I was always struggling to maintain control. I have 3 students who drive my classroom to distraction, and reigning the students back in has been a struggle. The biggest thing I learned is to stay consistent, be positive, and have high expectations. Now, I am more consistent. My classroom is still a work in progress but it is much more manageable. I don't feel like I'm drowning anymore!

Micah M.

The course will give you realistic ideas for you to use each and every day in your classroom.

Jennifer M.

Classroom Management 101 offers a lot of great practical tips for how to have a smooth running classroom. The emphasis on procedures was spot on and also emphasizing the importance of the first week of school. Great course for teachers just starting out or a nice refresher course for veterans like myself

Donna J. , kindergarten teacher
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Tyler Agnew

Tyler Agnew is a fourth-grade teacher in Killeen, Texas. He enjoys writing, reading, and freestyle rapping, which he does to review content for his students. Follow him on social media @agnewsie.

  • Ann says:

    What about when the student enjoys going to the principal’s office and his parents don’t care about his behavior in class? I had a student who regularly defied my directions, refused to do his work, and frequently refused to participate. I usually would ignore his behavior until I could deal with it, but he became a danger to himself or others.

  • Monika says:

    Thanks for sharing your idea.
    It is always a good idea to give students a choice.

    But: how do you cope with a student if you cannot ask the principal to come and get him? Just leave him in class?



  • Victoria says:

    Haha! If only it could be that easy! The principal and the assistant principal could care less if a student is defiant and they sure don’t want you calling the office for a defiant student. Second if you can get a parent to answer your phone call they mostly say that’s your problem now and you take care of them when you are with them and don’t bother me at home. So you have no support from administration or from parents! Then what? You try to get on their side by getting to know them and they try to take advantage of you later with I thought you cared so that means I can do what I want. Sorry but this is not helpful!

    • Victoria,
      We realize things are never simple. But you also cannot allow yourself to be disillusioned. Often results don’t show up for months or years. (I had a defiant student that I didn’t see results with for over a year and a half – but then they became one of my best students). Keep doing your best. Keep trying to reach students. Don’t give up.

  • Becca says:

    What do you do when the admin nor parents are of help with a defiant? Find a new school or work through it with your suggestions above eg. playing catch with them etc?

    • That’s a tough situation. Definitely do the best that you can, but I can’t tell you whether to switch schools or not. I’d encourage you to pray about it. Sometimes we are called to stay, sometimes we are called to go elsewhere.

  • Anne says:

    In my experience, it’s an unspoken expectation that the teacher handle these situations. Administration, nor parents step up to the plate more than once or twice..

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