Will Our Kids Say "I Do" But Mean "I Might"?

Will Our Kids Say “I Do” But Mean “I Might”?

I’m not even 30 yet, but already I’ve seen way too many of my friends marriages come to a tragic end.

It seems that these days when we say “I do” we actually mean “I might.” That when we promise “for better or for worse” we really just mean “for better.” That when we pledge “till death do us part” we really just mean “we’ll try our best until it just doesn’t seem to be working anymore.”

Marriage is a Covenant - Are we teaching our kids this?

Marriage is a Covenant

So many Christian marriages are ending in divorce, partly because we don’t talk enough about this important issue. We’ve done a horrible job at teaching the next generation that marriage is a covenant. A promise. A sacred vow.

We’ve done a horrible job at teaching the next generation that marriage is a covenant. A promise. A sacred vow.

Marriage is not for our own enjoyment. And it’s not about being compatible. [Tweet this!]

Marriage is about giving, about making someone else happy. About setting aside our own wants and desires to do what’s best for the family. It’s about two becoming one. Forever.

They’re Not Gonna’ Hear This from the Media

Our kids aren’t going to understand this view of marriage unless we’re very intentional about teaching it to them – both by words and by actions.

Everything in our culture is screaming just the opposite to them. The news tells of a husband who beat up his wife, music talks about “love” but actually means “lust,” and movies portray marriage as an option that will likely lead to fighting, cheating, and lots of lawyers.

And Christianity as a whole isn’t doing much better. We may pay lip-service to the fact that marriage is supposed to be a life-long covenant, but so many of our own marriages fail to hold up to this standard.

Now, please, don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to throw stones at those of you who have experienced the tragedy of divorce. I have dear friends and family members whose spouses have walked out on them, and the pain they’ve experienced has been incredible. We shouldn’t be pointing fingers about what’s happened in the past, but we absolutely do need to talk about this issue because it is so vital to our future.

We Have to Teach Them God’s Design for Marriage

This next generation must know that marriage is for better and for worse. For richer and for poorer. Not just for health but also for sickness.

These can’t just be nice words we say at the altar. We have to live them, and we have to talk about them.

These can’t just be nice words we say at the altar. We have to live them, and we have to talk about them.

I’m so thankful that as I was growing up my parents constantly talked to us about how marriage was for life and how divorce simply shouldn’t be an option. Their marriage was by no means perfect, but growing up with this philosophy made a huge impression on me. It helped me approach marriage from a covenant mindset.

Are we teaching these truths to our kids? Are we talking about the importance of marriage, of the sacred vow, of its covenant nature?

Are we both showing and telling them that marriage is not always easy but it is worth fighting for?

We must.

Because, parents and teachers, if we don’t teach them these truths, who will?

How do you teach your children or students about marriage? What challenges do you face? Share your experience with a comment below.

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Linda Kardamis

I believe that when God calls us to teach, He promises the strength & wisdom to do it well. All we need to do is keep learning, growing, and depending on Him. I'm here to provide practical advice and Biblical encouragement so you'll have the confidence and perspective to not only inspire your students but reach their hearts as well.

  • Anonymous says:

    Amen! I like this blog!

    In the Bible, marriage is a picture of salvation. Saints are the bride and Christ is the bridegroom. This means that faithfulness in marriage is a picture of eternal security; divorce would picture loss of salvation. Jesus is faithful to the promise He made to His bride regardless of her behavior. As a husband, I am to strive to accurately typify my Saviour in my marriage: faithfulness forever!

    In conclusion, rampant divorce subconsciously promotes false doctrine.

    Drew

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